Malton, July 22. Malton is still under attack on two fronts.

Parking operators, or whatever name you personally use when referring to them, are continuing their onslaught against the motorised group of folks in our small town, who seem to have coped admirably without any outside help for years.

If the aggression continues for long, the town will very quickly get a bad reputation, and as several elected individuals have already stated, visitors will be deterred and trade will suffer.

I watched their operations last week, starting with a foray round the suspect vehicle, notes being made, camera into operation, pics of the car from back to front, as well as a close-up of the licence disc. All very costly, and this is only the initial bit of the procedure, and it’s the public who pays.

I asked one gent if he enjoyed his job, to which he responded with “not particularly”. He did add, to be fair, that “There are two sides to it all,” with which I must concur.

 

• Ah well, I’ve noticed in other aspects, that when authority takes over, things only get worse.

Traffic lights in York recently went out of order, and all of a sudden the roads became ‘unjammed’ and folks got a move on.

The same happened when one lot of lights got hit and put out of action and the motorist took over, and everyone moved that much easier and quicker. Such is progress.

 

• As for the other ‘front’, I refer to the influx and seemingly increase in pigeon numbers.

Not only a Malton problem, for I’m told that Old Malton also suffers from their attacks.

I’ve always fed the wild birds, and have a couple of blackbirds who come out to meet me, and we sit and have a chat when we meet.

They, of course, have their feeding stations, back garden and front garden, but then the pigeons became persistent, so I put Blackies’ food on a tray, along with a dish of water, just inside the house, and with the door ajar, they are happy to come inside and feed.

Proper seed, plus crumbed-up sultana scones (those packs of cheapies) and some partly ground-up peanuts, and we were all happy.

That was until the pigeons decided they would come inside as well, so feeding times are limited to when I’m around to chase the big ones away.

Working in the back garden, and a shadow passes overhead, and I am reminded of Stuka attacks.

At least one could take a pot at them. I do frighten them off with a quick burst from the hose pipe, but they’re always that bit quicker than I am. So we are at war once again, and life isn’t all that happy.

 

• Firstly, thanks to Barry Millar of Sinnington for giving us the correct age of the late Slim Whitman which was 90 years when he ‘passed over’, as Frank Wappatt used to say.

I checked on my original notes and had got him down as being 67, but think my scribbled notes must have meant the number of years he’d been entertaining.

Sorry folks, and thanks Barry.

 

• The car park saga in Malton rumbles on.

Don’t things seem to take a time for anything positive to happen?

It’s like government action – the talking never seems to stop.

I hope I live long enough to see some of the dreams come to fruition.

I am often reminded of my own time, as a 15/16-year-old, and working for Boulton & Cooper, perching on a pen side taking down sales details as they were made, rain, hail or shine.

Mondays were a break from normal, when I would go along to Seamer market, with Sid Ash (B&C’s cashier) in a Morris Eight, and do whatever paperwork came along.

Lunch was a huge piece of beef on the waiting room table, a loaf of bread and a bucket of tea, from which staff cut what they wanted to eat. Very basic, and good to get home for a meal at the end of the day. I suspect B&C thought they were doing their bit correctly.

 

• Music line: How about – “She almost makes the day begin”

 

• A BBC publication tells how to cook a crab. A horror story.

The chef says that the efficient and humane method is to freeze it for an hour. (Remember, it’s still alive). Then put the crab into boiling water. How that can be humane I just don’t know – as far as I can see it’s naught but downright cruelty.

Do you enjoy your crab meat?

All eating seems to be tinged with cruelty, especially in Third World countries.

No less than 65,000 horses are sent hundreds of miles each year to be processed into edible meat, mostly in overcrowded ships, and with no food or water. Why doesn’t the government legislate on this?

Did I read somewhere that the ritual killing of animals is to be more controlled?

After all, it’s just a state of mind which governs this method.

 

• I mentioned last week that Russia was to invest money in the purchase of typewriters for the government department. The model on order is the Triumph Adler Twin, which I suspect, going by its middle name, Adler, that these are of German origin.

 

• Music line: A Lerner and Loewe melody, “I’ve grown accustomed to her face”. Got it?

 

• Smile: “When I was a kid I used to pray for a new bike. Then I realised the Lord didn’t work that way. So I stole one, and asked him to forgive me.” Emo Philips – comedian.